To be an honest person, results in losing people.
To be an outspoken person, results in losing people.
To have boundaries, results in losing people.
To be yourself, results in losing people.
To love hard, results in losing people.
To want true love, honesty, & faithfulness, results in losing people.
To want happiness, results in losing people.
To do better for yourself, results in losing people.
You see… It doesn’t matter what you want or do, people just leave. It is rare to find anyone that isn’t just full of shit. People will literally call themselves your best friend while, secretly putting you down, doing things that isn’t right behind your back, & turn on you because you call them out on it.
Relationships are just as shitty. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, they will pretend to love you while lying, cheating, & using you all along until you break then you’re the crazy one because you called them out on their shit. I loved a man as hard as I could love him, he turned on me for no reason at all. Now he lives his life of multiple women on the daily. He never loved me you see. He kept me for awhile to use me because he doesn’t like being alone. When he found another to stay by his side, he discarded me for them. The same thing will happen to the current one. He’ll get done using us then pick another one to use the same. Over & over. He doesn’t love himself.
I’ve dealt with shitty people my whole life. For awhile I thought something was wrong with me. Turns out that I just need to stop allowing people into my life. All of them have proved me wrong. I have two friends from high school that live far away from me. And both of them are literally the only people I am comfortable talking to. Two people out of all of the others that I’ve had right in my face, are the only two that still stand with me. That’s because they grew up in the same era & the same town I did that taught us basic respect, morals, etc.
I hate the world today…
If you bust your ass at your job, you’re doing it for nothing. That’s what I’ve learned for myself anyways. I had my ex bosses back. I did & worked whatever she asked of me. The moment I stood up for myself because I felt like I was losing money & being done wrong due to another employee not being wrote up or fired for what they did to me on the job, was way out of line. In that moment, I lost my job because I stood up for myself!
It doesn’t matter how hard you work!
It doesn’t matter how hard you love!
It doesn’t matter how true of a friend you are!
It just doesn’t matter anymore in anything!
People Are Shitty…
I absolutely trust no one now. It is an awful feeling. It is also a lonely season to go through. But I get up everyday & do it. And from this point forward, I will only work for myself. Allowing another love in my life will be very difficult because I was blindsided by the last one, & ended up very hurt & traumatized by him. He never hurt for one minute because he didn’t love me. That isn’t fair & it makes me angry, but I know that if I sit quietly & just heal….Karma will get his ass for all that he has done to me. That goes the same for those so called two-faced friends.
The best thing for myself is to take three steps back, & remove myself from the general population. Just live my life the way I see fit, & spend my days with my sons & grandsons.
I’m living proof of fake love & fake friendships in 98% of the people I allowed in my life.
Just remember if you’re doing something for someone else, but you know they’re not doing anything for you at all…that’s a red flag. They’re using you whether it’s a job, friend, or the person you’re in love with.
It doesn’t matter anymore.