Hello people! I feel lost not writing all the time. I’ve took a serious break from my blog. Not because I hate it or it annoys me, it’s not any of that at all I promise. Life is crazy & sometimes you just have to take a step back. Solitude is very important at times.
I’ve been working mostly all of this time. Keeping myself busy most days with a day or two of just me & the quietness to reset, relax, & keep junk out of my heart & mind. I find it strange that hearing a bird sing catches my full attention, while the person I’m talking to doesn’t even hear it. I guess the peacefulness of nature isn’t seen or heard by a lot of people anymore. I just want to say to them ‘slow down, listen, breathe’, but they don’t get it.
I do have an ebook in the works. I think it’ll be awesome. It’ll go with my new blog which is private right now because I withdrew from writing temporarily. It’ll be back soon though. I also have been going through this blog & cleaning out all the junk. I removed every dirty story I could find & anything about an ex I could find as well. There may be some still, there’s a lot of posts to read through lol. The reason I removed the ‘what I call junk’ is that for one the ex or ex’s, well I’m just not interested in writing about them anymore. And too many people take the dirty stories the wrong way. They’re just stories for crying out loud…..but some men think I’m asking for their sex & some women think I’m simply a whore because I wrote about sexual encounters. (( jealous or they ain’t getting any lol )) I mean a lot of it was real, but those are removed too. “Scoff” LOL! I’m just sick of the aggravation with it. Some say you must be a whore to be good….’No Susan, if you have a passion, you learn quickly & the willingness will be 100. Having sex doesn’t make you good, the passion makes you good, not spreading your legs for every nasty creature that comes along also makes you good’. Some people…..I swear.
No I’m not bothered by what others think at all. I could care less. I suppose its part of my changing, believe me I’ve changed a lot these past few months. I choose to keep the things I used to write about…private now. I’ve dealt with so much bullshit from cold hearted individuals that I can sense peoples true colors a mile away. Screw up one time, you’re out! That’s how I live now. Life’s too short to waste on non deserving idiots, & mental drain sucking useless people. No I’m not angry haha, I’m at peace. Even though I’ll never receive apologies or a mature conversation as to why people did what they did to me….I have forgiven myself & them & found my own closure. I’m good.
Anyway, I’ve gained some weight. I purposely gained it because I felt like I was too skinny. Sick of looking like a bag of bones lol. I’m still small by all means but filling out my jeans better is nice. Aside from working out with weights. I’m fixing to start working out with a punching bag. I think it’ll be awesome & fun! It will not only be good for my body, but will be a great stress reliever as well.
Okay so if you’re wondering. Yes I’m still single. Do I date? No. I hate dating. I hate the traditional get slicked up, go to dinner & a movie crap. I’d rather order take out, watch a movie at home, & see if there’s a click & if they can make me laugh. I hang out lol, that’s what I call it anyway. But yes I do ‘hang’ out on occasion but I’m super picky with men now. I won’t let them get too close. I know what I have to offer & no one will take advantage of me again, which means to get next to me you have to be super amazing.
Solitude really gives you the opportunity to truly find out who you are. It also resets you back to you, the real you. Brings so much peace to your heart people. Everyone needs to have that at times.
Well that’s pretty much all I’m willing to share right now. I’m not sure if I’ll keep writing or if it’ll be awhile again. At this point I only listen to my heart & that gut lol.
I hope all is well with you guys! Remember to breathe, smile, & make the day the best that you can.