After so much trauma this year & I mean the whole year! I have decided to say Yes to anything that’s healthy for myself.
I had to let go of a person 100%. Did I want to? Yes, yes I did towards the end. This person had ruined my every idea of how a friend should be. Destroyed my ability to trust. Showed me just how fake a human being can be, everything about them was a lie. That’s okay though, I have finally woke up to the truth. Yes it hurt, it hurt like hell, hurt like a son of bitch. Losing a best friend felt just like a breakup. Sad thing is, is that I was the only friend that was true & real & was wholeheartedly there for them.
I will always be me. I will always be real. The kind of person that I am well…no one can change that, not even the devil himself. I’m not going to continue to bash anyone, sometimes it helps to get through things by opening up. That’s as far as I’m opening up & this is the very last time I will ever speak of this friend. It is over for life.
So YES to myself!
I feel absolutely so great it’s mesmerizing! I’m back to myself & I love me haha!
I have been studying my ass off & being my nerdy self all wrapped up in books & notes. I’m picking up where I left off a year ago. Next year will be an amazing year because I’m not allowing anyone to get in my way of my dreams again. I have a couple of things going for me right now & I’m super excited about it.
I have spent about a month pretty much alone. I needed it to basically recharge after this year of hell. Sometimes alone is the best option. I don’t have any hard feelings towards anyone anymore, but there are a few that are banned from my life for my own sake. Doesn’t mean I hate anyone it just means I’m happier without them & at peace with myself. Forgive & move on!
I’m purposely not telling anyone anything that’s personal about myself anymore. I learned the hard way that even those you thought that your secrets were safe with are not. The new me is far better a better woman than the old one was, so some lose out on knowing me anymore. I will say that I don’t care what you’re going through, you will make it. I know life is so hard at times we think we are just going to die. Trust me I know! Some say ‘How are you still standing?’ I say….God, & a very strong woman raised me. She was 5’1 but she was tough as nails & that woman was my momma.
Say Yes to yourself. Yes you can get up & survive the day. Yes you can go to work. Yes you can survive whatever is troubling you. Yes you can start exercising & getting healthier. Yes You Can!!! You can do anything if you put your mind to it!
Now I cannot sit here & say I did not go through my depressed mode for a little while. Everyone does at some point, but you cannot stay there. Get some sleep, take a shower, go for a walk, go to work, read anything, call up a friend, etc. Just smile for no damn reason at all because you are worth being happy.
Do you have some goals you want to accomplish? Yes? Then-Do-Them.
Getting lost in a book with coffee in hand wrapped up in a blanket is relaxing to me. Try it. Going for a walk or for a drive will do you more good than you realize.
Say Yes to You…..
I said I wouldn’t make new friends due to past friends, but hey there really is some people that are good people out there. Actions prove everything even with friendships. People that will not only make you feel important but they show you that you are to them. I do have walls now that no one will get over, but just because I don’t allow anyone in that much doesn’t mean I can’t have friends. I’m not fake I’m just not going to be stupid again.
Go on, build yourself back up with the very same bricks that life hit you with!!
I am here for anyone that wants to just talk. If you don’t want to talk on here, email me: firstname.lastname@example.org