March 28, 2019

Good Morning

Good morning people. As you’ve read I wrote a few dirty posts. I haven’t wrote any in so long. Hopefully there’ll be more to write about soon.

I know I know, I mostly write sad stuff anymore, but its hard not to. I wish I could run away sometimes or scream for ten minutes straight to let it all out. Let what out you might be thinking….well, everything that is bogging me down of course. I have days where I feel like I’m on top of everything & then boom everything blows up in my face. Its like a repeat nightmare.

I honestly have no idea what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m burnt out on the way of making a living just to remain broke & in debt. It doesn’t seem to ever get better for me. Really sick of it.

So basically I’d like to run & hide or win the lottery & disappear lol. Can’t do either with my luck, my truck wouldn’t make it far haha.

The past little while of me thinking & remembering my past up to my current life has me wondering about a lot of stuff, a lot. I don’t even know what to say really about myself, especially when asked. If my eyes or heart could talk, it would be easier to understand.

It seems as I get older, there’s less people in my life. You find out who’s fake & drop them, then like myself, you’re in no mood to deal with new people. Most are crooked or assholes anyway.

This is definitely a short post. Just wanted to speak normal on this one to you.

I’d normally give out encouraging words but I’m all out. I don’t have any for myself. I’m just living day to day not knowing where my life is headed. I have five human beings in my life that are actually a part of my life, four are my sons & grandsons. I think less is best anymore.

Everyday I open my eyes, I immediately start hoping that the things I hope & long for will become a part of my life. But also I’m so used to the bad & being rejected that I have to constantly throughout the day talk to myself to stay away from depression. I can’t really explain it through writing, like I said my eyes or heart could speak to you clearer.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Lori

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