Good morning! What an awful, crazy year the past year has been. And no I don’t want a do over. It was so full of hurt, fear, & tears but also there was healings & blessings to follow the traumas.
I wanted to say that one of the hardest things to do is learning to forgive yourself & others. I’ve battled with this for months now but I’m doing good. I had to forgive myself for my own mistakes. Having to forgive others for what they’ve done to me is harder because I won’t receive an apology & they’re not sorry for what they’ve done. The thing is, is that I’m free. I’m free because I forgave people for my own good. I don’t need their apology or have to face them, I’ve let go & moved on.
Forgiving others who feel no remorse for their actions makes you the stronger, bigger person. It’s not easy, but it can be done. You have to realize that you are more important than the nonsense. Let go & be free. You have to pray for those that have wronged you, no one likes it but we have to do it. I promise you it will ease your mind, your heart, your thoughts, & change your ugly attitude about them. Sometimes it sucks being the bigger person, it really does. You have to realize it isn’t healthy having hatred in your heart, & once you feel that freeing feeling from forgiveness, it will change you for the better.
December is my favorite month because it holds Christmas & my birthday. I still haven’t gotten back to where I was, in the Christmas spirit wise because now I deal with painful memories about December. But I’ll make it, I’ll be fine.
At one point I was hoping for a Christmas miracle for myself, but I decided that whoever is meant for me will come to me. I pray my heart out everyday. God will send whoever it is directly to me because I refuse to hunt or beg. I may not know exactly but I know what I feel when I pray, & God knows my heart. And no one can stop anything that God has planned for us.
I’m not perfect by any means but I’m perfect for someone out there. He has to find me & realize it. Actually, he’ll just know. We will feel like home to each other.
Okay, enough man talk. My main point was learning to forgive. You will not forget. You may still feel hurt. You may still miss. You may still get upset……but you’ll be free. And with time, you’ll heal. You’ll learn where to put all of those people & things in a neat stack, & one day you’ll understand that it’s okay to reminisce but don’t live there.
Forgiving doesn’t mean you forget. It lifts the burden off of you so that you can continue on with your life.
It may take you a little while to fully forgive, but you’ll get there if you work at it.
Hatred in your heart makes a person very ugly.