October 7, 2018

Good Morning

Hello! I wanted to write this morning before I exercised.

That post I write last night, ‘Hating my life is over with baby’, has me feeling great about myself because it’s truths. I went to bed & didn’t shed a tear. When I laid down I said fk that shit, & fell asleep. Woke up this morning with a smile on my face because I’m me & I’m awesome, they’re not around me because they failed to see it.

Every word about me is true to a T. It felt great realizing it again after being blindsided. I didn’t say all of that to appear better than anyone because I’m not. It takes realization of who you truly are to be able to heal.

I’m a little disappointed in myself for allowing myself to get down to start with. But it’s alright, I’m good now.

You just have to remind yourself that when people reject you when you’re a damn good person, it doesn’t mean/show anything bad about you, it shows you how pathetic/weak they are. Some people choose other people below you or make a big ordeal that you’re a horrible person because they know they’re not good enough to be in your life without being fake or changing. They can see you shine & know your potential, so the next step is to attempt to destroy you on any level they can.

I can tell you some facts. I will never allow anyone to get next to me again without truly knowing who they are. People are evil. Some are only out for themselves, period. I experienced that very heavily in the last couple of months. So many lies. It was like I hopped on a crazy train & it derailed. I was used like a rag doll, never again will that happen. I will be respected!

This morning makes 4 days I haven’t showered. After I exercise its going to feel so good to be standing in that hot water.

You work hard, make your own money to keep problems & situations under control. Watch who you’re around & be wise, to keep from being dragged down by other people.

I don’t fake love its real, but when I’m attacked unfairly or treated like shit, that love is gone……

I know I talk a lot about wanting a man & I do. But let me say this, he will have to literally come & get my ass because I probably won’t give any recognition to one anymore. I’m done playing games with fools. I know what I deserve & I will receive it or I’ll walk.

Off that…

Last night I was thinking about how much I used to love decorating at Christmas. I believe I’m going to this year. I used to decorate my entire yard with hand made items like helicopters, hearts, word signs, etc. Yep I believe I just might this year. Plus I’m already planning on cooking Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners. I haven’t really cooked in so long due to just trying to survive ya know & lots of working.

Well I’m gonna get my exercising on then hit the shower this morning. Hope everyone has a great day!

Love, Lori

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