September 28, 2018

Wake Me Up When September Ends….

Inspired by the song by Green Day

It couldn’t be truer & it is September. Another bad month in this year. I just wanna sleep until I have a way out of this.

I had a sickening feeling this job would break me, tried to ignore it but hoped for the best. I suppose I should’ve known better, I fell for the lies. Horrible set up done so cruelly on me.

I’m sitting here this morning wondering what the next step is really. If I ever find another job, which is scarce for me for some reason, do I continue the same lame barely making it bs?

Will I ever get beyond barely making it? It just doesn’t seem worth it anymore to work 10-12 a day, 7 days a week for nothing. I’m tired. Tired of fighting this same ole fight. Some days, I wish someone would fight for me. Would do for me as I would them if I had the means. No one has a heart like mine….

Am I sad? Yeah kinda, I just don’t see a way out. Evil motives were used against me to put me in the position I’m in after working so damn hard most of the year. There’s gotta be a special place in hell for people that’s so evil. Makes me not even want to try again.

The old but familiar routine has returned. In a slump feeling, sleeping a lot, crying my self to sleep, wishing to be rescued, or just wanting to simply disappear. I feel helpless & unimportant again. Sucks.

Wake me up when this ends, I don’t think I have the strength to fight anymore.

Lori

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