April 21, 2018

Shit!

I’m not very inspirational or uplifting right now, I got some serious problems.

Would it be okay if I change my mind & give up now?

I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I don’t know what else to do.

I have tried everything online to make money & you know what? All of it is bullshit that’s what! I even tried those surveys out of boredom, those are a joke.

I can’t get my truck fixed nor get another ride which means I can’t go to WORK to make money! I’m very stressed out right now. I’m not embarrassed to say it, but I’m down to change, that’s how broke I am. There are several people that know of my situation & they just sit & watch instead of help. I know it ain’t their place but when the day comes that my help is needed….I will not allow myself to help, I’ll just have to lose sleep feeling bad about it-fuck it.

I was coming out ahead of my mess & damn near almost had everything back on track then BOOM, the transfer case explodes on my truck going down the interstate! I’m so pissed off. I have been sitting for over a week & it looks like I’m just fucked because no one is obviously going to help me at all. My job is 45 minutes away from where I’m staying & I have to have a ride for the job.

It’s okay to be pissed off right??? I sure hope so because I am very angry at this situation & I can’t comprehend how people can just watch your life fold before them. They think its fucking funny or something.

I swear I will not put forth any effort or a lending hand to those that are well aware of what’s happening & they sit & do nothing. It’s obvious I can’t do anything to help myself out of this…gah I’m so freaking mad!

I want to start a fund thing up to see if I could get help but it’s really pointless, the I’m on drugs rumors keeps people from helping me. Oh & I’m not in case your wondering, I can do a hair/blood test that tests back in years & nothing will be found. I’m just screwed this time.

I took off walking last night down the road because I’m so angry I’m about to explode & just damn sitting here is making me crazy & it’s not my house I’m stuck at so I can’t slam nothing or break shit!

And not to mention I just spent 3 days in pain with a toothache & swelled up like hell on top of it all. I have a headache everyday all day long……

I swear I literally just need a ride & I can take care of everything else. If I could borrow a ride so I could make some down payment money for a car, I’d be fine. I swear the older I get I see more & more sorry ass & heartless people. Most of these people are around my age so I know they were raised with similar morals dammit. WTH is wrong with people?

I won’t be able to keep from helping others out, but you can bet your sweet ass I will take names & not even glance at those that are turning their heads on me right now!

My bills are piling up & some are now behind & I can’t do a damn thing but sit & watch it. I had to shut down my bank temporarily to keep from getting all those charges every time a bill collector takes a payment. I did it too slow though, it’s $60 in the hole now.

Is there some way to get donations other than using gofundme or the like because they take percentages out of it?

I’m on my own

What do I do? I’m at a total loss here people, please help, please tell me what can I do?

Please feel free to comment

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