April 12, 2018

What Brings You Joy?

I had breakfast with my youngest son this morning at the rehab facility, it was from McDonald’s-yuck-but I was with him & that’s all that mattered. He passed his fifth swallow test & is now able to eat & drink all he wants, I’m so happy! He still has a long way to go with therapy (walking & stuff) but he’s come so far already with everything, he’s doing great! Thanks for all the prayers!
My boys bring me Joy! My grandson brings me Joy! Being single brings me Joy!

Once I stopped looking for my happiness in men, my world changed. It is the most freeing feeling I’ve ever felt. I don’t know why nobody don’t like being single, to each their own I suppose.

So many want to date me & for some reason they’re not getting the point I don’t want to, I want nothing to do with it. I don’t want to have to be mean or rude about it, but I write about it all the time in black & white. I’m happy where I stand in my life right now. I’m focused on myself & my boys, that’s it, that’s all that matters to me anymore. I don’t have to have a man on my side to be great or successful, please…. I’m my own woman & I’m perfectly capable of controlling & handling life on my own.

I washed my truck this morning (soon to be handed over to my youngest) & couldn’t help but notice the birds just singing their hearts out. Just beautiful. It’s beautiful I’m able to hear them & take in the peacefulness of nature once again.

What brings you joy in your lives?

Everyone has different things or people that makes them happy. Nature itself relaxes me, puts me in a different state of mind. I want to camp, fish, etc., but by myself. It’s so weird that I want to be alone now because before I feared being alone big time, now I can’t get enough. The only people I want to do anything with is my boys, they’re my world. No one or nothing else matters to me. I have literally withdrew from ‘sexual’ relations even, I don’t want that anymore. Not that I’m not ‘active’, I just can’t deal with the attachments anymore, blah. I made a bet kinda thing with myself to see how long I can hold out haha! Like a virgin!!! I’m just kidding lol.

Although I love doing many things, music is a major escape for me as well as dancing. Dancing by myself so I’m not judged or some man thinks I’m seducing him lol, although I can’t stop myself from dancing & driving-it ain’t gonna happen haha.

Right now with being out of shape, not tanned, & bad teeth issues, I still refuse to accept I’m some dog ugly bitch. I’m still me & I’m starting back at the gym probably tonight after work, it frees my mind as well. I don’t care what anyone thinks because I’m not trying to get attention, I guess that’s why I’m not all in the dumps about my looks. I’m happy so that’s all that matters.

Also, my blog & website are under construction I guess. I was told it could take 4-6 weeks before it’s fully functional….ugh. But I’ll keep writing because some can still see the posts & when it’s ready, others will.

Do I want love? Ehhh…maybe some day lol. But seriously focus on what makes you happy, changing direction is okay. If you ain’t happy, nobody around you will be.

Life is short…..Be happy….. If you can’t financially change things, learn to be happy where you stand in your life right now. When you do that, it’s like everything changes. You view everything & everyone with a different view in a good way & you’ll find yourself more relaxed in life. And this is coming from someone who is in a financial mess…..being happy makes problems smaller! You’re, well I anyway, can view & assess the problems in a much better way to take control & fix it all so to speak.

A Joyful Heart Is Good Medicine!!!


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