March 7, 2018

The Only Thing Left Of Me

So there’s that title ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿป.
I would say 90% assumed right off the bat that I meant there’s nothing left of me & that I’m permanently destroyed right?
Well it’s the opposite. What’s left of me is the best of me! Those that left me lost me. Lost one of the most faithful & truest people they’ll ever have in their life. I feel sorry for them…not, because people like me are rare. I will brag on myself on this.
Being free from all the chaos that sneaked its way into my life is so freeing today. It was hurtful to go through the lessons & learn that the people I cared about & loved soooo much didn’t much give me the time of day. Never gave back what I gave them. They never even seen what I gave them because they were too busy using me for their own benefits to even notice me.
I’m not saying I don’t miss the ‘person’ I thought they were or who they pretended to be. But I have to remind myself I’m missing people that didn’t even exist. People role play well to take what they can from you.
But what’s left of me is ME. The best of me. The still standing Lori who endured so much pain it almost killed her. They no longer have a hold on me & never will again. No one will ever be allowed to come into my life & ruin me like that again. No one.
Lori who loves to drive & jam out, dancing all over her truck causing others to notice….is back lol. The woman who lost herself trying to love fake people whom she wasted every ounce of her love on has now redirected her love towards herself. The woman who forgot how talented she was…now remembers. When you love yourself, I mean truly love yourself you will protect YOU like you’re protecting a child. It is an awesome feeling!!!
We can’t just allow people to treat us so shitty. Believe me I know first hand that people can snake their way into your heart with no intention of ever loving you. It happened once by a handful of people, it won’t happen again.
I’m too full of life & have to big of dreams to be saturated down with such toxic people & things.
Do I still love them?…I love the person I thought they were, that’s who I’ve had to let go of. They’re fading.
Their faces & words don’t mean nothing, actions do. I will accept nothing less than actions. Anyone can talk.
What’s left of me is everything they didn’t steal…the real true me. They managed to temporarily steal my heart & shatter it. My eyes were uncovered when they began to hurt me & I all of sudden could see right through every lie even if it was a year ago. They don’t deserve to know anything about me or to even know of me. They tried to destroy me, it didn’t work. That’s something about me they didn’t know, I’m too damn strong & too damn good for them.
Let me be conceited for a moment haha! People especially other women who are insecure of their own self will try to tear you down because you intimidate them. Men who aren’t sure of their own self won’t know what to do with you or realize what they had. Okay conceitedness over lol, but its the truth. I may be wrong but it seems like that’s what happened to me or I really did meet some lowlifes. So be your true self, don’t worry what people think. If they’re too weak to handle you, they’ll walk away. If they walk away you don’t need them anyhow & they’re more than likely not supposed to be in your life to start with other than a lesson.
I am loving being single. I am finding out who I really am & what I really like & doing whatever makes Me happy. I feel sorry for whoever tries to get next to me because I don’t want no one there.
The title is actually a title to a sad song meaning the only thing left was basically nothing. I listen to it quite often but I realized the other day that’s not the case with me. The best of me is what’s left. All the pain & troubles I endured brought out the woman I used to be a very long time ago & then some! The woman my momma raised me & taught me to be.
Sometimes we have to stop & take notice of people & things that rob us of our happiness then proceed to clean up the mess. ~Painful but healthy~

Have a beautiful day people!!!
Love, Lori

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