January 25, 2018

Dreams

Good morning! I hope all y’all have a wonderful day. Again I say thank you to my followers & readers from social media. Y’all are awesome.
Dreams of mine. The ones I want to come true & the ones I run from while sleeping.
I’ve mentioned a time or two about my dreams I’m working towards. Setbacks seem to get tougher the harder I try.
Now I have to use what money I do have & anything I get to go to a dentist. I have had a gum issue since I had babies & its only gotten worse. Now I’m sitting here with complete humiliation & embarrassment. I lost two more teeth eating pizza the other night. I cried for like 5 hours straight! I won’t even talk to no one hardly now & at work I cover my mouth to speak or turn my head down or away. THIS I can’t deal with! I wish I had a buddy that is a dentist. Would be nice to have a buddy in that field. Just saying.
BUT I’m still not giving up on what I want. I’m striving & busting my ass to afford to make my blog & vlog successful. I’m studying & teaching myself to video edit & stuff. I’m not changing my style in the way I write or what I write about because this is me, if I can’t be myself I don’t want it.
I look at everything going on & all that needs to be done & I’m not sure how the hell to do it all or how I’m still functioning. On top of everything my heart is still broke & probably will be for awhile because he wasn’t a crush or a lust fuck to me.
I haven’t dreamed in a couple of months. I’ve payed attention & there’s been nothing there. But this morning I fell back asleep & had a dream of him. First one in forever. It wasn’t a wet dream so don’t go there. But we were in each others arms & it felt so real. I got to stare into those gorgeous brown eyes & touch that sexy beard. But….it was just a dream. I woke up sitting straight up fast & gasped. Realizing it was only a dream hurt like hell!!!! Now I don’t want to sleep either.
If it wasn’t for my momma pushing me to be tough all my life, I’d already be dead. Too much on me all the time. Not giving up though because I just can’t.
Follow your dreams no matter how much it hurts….do it.
Dreams can come true & I’m gonna prove it even if its only to prove it to myself.

Love, Lori

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