January 23, 2018

Stage Of Anger?

A heart break hurts, hurts like hell. And there’s NOTHING you can do about it but deal with it. Am I still hurting?…yes! But now I’m pissed off as well! It’s devastating to be rejected by someone you have such strong feelings for. And you know you love them when you can’t even hate them. I want to be in his arms but he doesn’t want me anymore. Honestly I just want to stop. I don’t want to want him anymore or have feelings for him anymore. I’m sure I never cross his mind & I shouldn’t ever give him the benefit of crossing mine.
There’s so much negative stuff going on in my life that I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Its not fair at all that I can’t find a guy to be true to me & really really want me as much as I want him. Every man has always wanted someone else when they were with me. I’m never enough!!!!!! NEVER!
I just want to feel like I mean something to someone without them needing another one on the side ya know?
It’s not damn fair!
I get hurt & its my fault they left. Wtf?
I want to be able to just leave for awhile & get the hell away from everyone & this damn town! I don’t mean a damn thing to anyone AT ALL. Do you know how much that hurts??? To go to bed or to get up or to go about my day & to have no one give a fuck what is really going on with me? I just wanna die sometimes, it hurts so bad. But dying would probably make ‘him’ & others happy that I’m gone.
I’ve never felt so alone.
My heart has been ripped out of my chest & there is no getting it back!
Done
Lori

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