January 20, 2018

A New Way Of Life For Me

Good morning. How is everyone doing? I haven’t wrote nothing in a few days but decided I would this morning to talk about this new thing I’m going to do & it started last night.
I’m going to start seriously vlogging everyday that I can. I’m not quite comfortable with it but I’m sure it’ll grow on me. I have many followers reading my blog & I wanted to make my vlog a part of my blog. I know I say things about me on here but I never say all the details but with the vlog you’ll end up getting to know me a little better. And the biggest reason I’m doing it is because for one I’m dealing with a heart ache from hell. And two if there’s a slight chance it’ll help at least one or two people….then its worth it. It’s worth putting my pride aside and letting you people in my life.
This is by far the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. The worst loneliness I’ve ever dealt with. I even had suicidal moments for a little while, a few weeks, tried to kill myself in my beloved pickup truck. So with that said & having happened that is why I wanted to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this but somehow I have to & for those that can’t cope either….this is for them because its not fair to want to die for someone that never even thinks of you anymore & has abandoned you.
Last night I was working & messages were flying….I was basically told that the one I love had fallen in love with someone else before I was gotten rid of. I didn’t stand a chance to stay in his life. He has nothing for me & that fucking hurts. My evilness is definitely shining, I thought about it last night. I’m kinda hoping its infatuation for the new girl & it wears off soon. Mean right? Yep. Infatuation makes you think you’re in love but you’re not. I’ve never wished bad for anyone but the pain he’s caused me makes me want him to feel it 10x worse than I’m feeling it, hell just feeling what I do is bad enough. Whatever. Love/hate going on.
I’m not making this long so I’m stopping. Just wanted to let y’all know that my vlogging is back on & real now. My vlog is the same name as my blog….Life With Lori.
Hope I’m making the right choice doing this. I hope it helps some people out with their problems. Even though I hurt like hell 24/7, I still push myself everyday to survive.
Lori
Link..I haven’t changed the name yet but I will today. This is where you’ll see new videos everyday or at least every other day.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3TUhqOdYsi2uxGJYAIOCpw

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