December 4, 2017

I’m not a monster!

Good Monday morning. Don’t forget to have a great day. Don’t be like me & allow everything to bother you. Be positive.
Funny I tell y’all to fight & be happy when I can’t even do it myself. I try it just never works. But anyway seriously please don’t allow yourselves to get to the place I’m in, please don’t. It’s dark & lonely. It’s not fun. Trust me, it’s not fun!
I wanted to say some words to some people that probably won’t ever speak to me again, maybe they’ll read this maybe they won’t.

  • I’m Lori
  • I’m human
  • I’m not a monster
  • I don’t purposely try to make anyone’s life miserable
  • I don’t sit & think up crazy schemes to attack you with
  • I don’t do anyone wrong to their face or behind their back
  • If I have $10, you need it, then I have $0
  • If I thought you were hungry, I’d break my neck trying to help
  • If you just needed a hug…by God I’d be there
  • If I’ve done something wrong, enlighten me on it because I obviously don’t know about it

Really….I’m not some horrible person. I’m a human being too ya know……that everyone keeps throwing to the side like I don’t matter at all. It’s fine really, I can’t make anyone stay.
I guess somehow I must have stepped over boundaries I didn’t know were there because I think I’ve lost everyone that was close to me.
If it’s because I’m depressed well, then y’all should be ashamed of yourselves because I would NEVER turn my back on someone close to me just because you have problems. How do you sleep at night? Because I sure as hell couldn’t if somebody needed me. I need someone or several someone’s but it’s fine. I’ve made it this far through pure hell what’s a little depression anyway huh? I’m not perfect but I’m one hell of friend & then some, suit yourself, I don’t go back. And I will not beg for someone to be around me….ever.
Sorry but those that know me know I will tell like it is. I ain’t willy wonka I don’t sugarcoat any kinda of shit.
I’m not angry at anyone but I do have a problem with not at least saying my peace. My momma always & I mean always told me to never depend on anyone because they will only let you down. To always have my own back just in case. She was right. It took me almost 42 years to realize it but I get it now.
I can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. I will miss y’all. I do wish you well.
If you knew just how hard it is to lay down at night with nothing but tears, you wouldn’t judge me. If you knew the struggles & pain I go through & feel, you wouldn’t judge me. If I was truly cared for & loved………there would be no need in this post.

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