I am quitting this out of control, bitchy, cold hearted jerk, asshole that I’ve become lately. I don’t like this new shithead of a person I’ve allowed myself to turn in to. I miss me! And all that above isn’t me at all. I let things, people, and life get to me so bad that I became very bitter!
Yes I’ve got reasons to act that way but I don’t have a right to act that way!!! Especially towards the few people in my life that care about me and love me.
How did it happen? Well I don’t know really. I slipped into all the chaos I guess. I’m human.
And this is to my few people in my life: I am sorry for being an ass. I’m embarrassed that you all seen me lose it like that. I know you know who you are and no names being mentioned are needed. I only have a few of you that are close to me including my boys. I love each of you with all my heart. I never meant to hurt feelings or piss any of you off and definitely wasn’t never an intention to lose any of you! I don’t know how this took control of me but it did. I’m not free n clear of it but I’m handling it because I’m sick of it and I don’t want to lose none of you. I love ya and I’m very sorry to my..boys, gf’s, bf.
I’m not deleting my old posts for one reason and that’s for anyone that goes through what I have been going through needs to follow it. Every post is me going up and down with emotions and rage dealing with everything thrown at me. I think it may be helpful to others. So I’m leaving them alone.
It takes stumbling to wake you up from the craziness.
Pain does change you but it doesn’t have to define you nor do you have to allow it to control you.