September 12, 2017

Running naked

Single & living alone feels just like that to me. It’s a crazy life lol, my life is anyway.

That feeling when your naked & you’re all awkward if someone sees you or you feel like you’re being watched haha… Yep, that’s how my life feels, all awkward & don’t know which way to run & hide lol.
Like the older folks say “running like a chicken with its head cut off” lol. I’ve actually seen that & it’s quite hilarious, at least I thought so when I was younger.
So at 4am I was still awake. I went to sleep around 4:30 lol. I stripped down to shirt & panties then smoked & started painting. Crazy right? That’s me, all crazy.
It is tiring when you’re in a spot & don’t know what to do. I don’t know about y’all but it wears me slap out. I hate money problems anymore. If I sense one is coming up I tend to start growling & showing teeth lol.
I’m really in trouble right now but I’m trying to just laugh at it instead of cry. It’s kinda serious & not sure what to do, I have 3-4 days to come up with money I ain’t got.
I haven’t cried in 3 days now! I decided that some people & some things ain’t worth my time & effort anymore. If I’m shown I’m not that important or if things are out of my control I just quiet down & remind myself oh at least 100x a day…. They & stuff ain’t worth it! Ain’t worth me losing sleep over or sitting here breaking my own heart.
Every day I’ve had money problems since I got my own place a little over a year ago. It sucks I can’t make enough money with out needing 3 jobs. Then what’s the point of living right? Definitely wouldn’t have any life like that.
I need me a sugar daddy that don’t want no sugar haha… I’m joking!

I been sleep walking during the day, Only place I can remember the good memories from everyone, the past, the present, & dreaming of future significant other. I’m a tad better but I’m far from great. Finances just make it all suck worse.
I’m still painting this morning. About to run out of paint & no money to get more, oh well. Not even sure why I’m painting the kitchen of a house I’m probably gonna get evicted from. I’ve never been evicted from a place or fired from a job so I’m not taking it too well.
Pray for me…
Have a beautiful day!
Love, Lori

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