August 28, 2017

Good Morning

Sitting on my porch this morning again. I have found my spot to relax in. I just sit here listening to birds & dogs & stuff. I wish that coffee pot would hurry up lol.

When you think life is done shitting on you… It’ll a show you it aint. Been a rough couple of days. So much on my mind & heart. It’s just little ole me, damn I need a break. I just hope I don’t stroke out from all the stress of everything. I can’t speak of any of it at all though but it’s taking a toll on me for sure. I wish I could be like ‘I dream of genie’ & just fix everything.
I wish I could give my boys the world, they deserve it. I love them so much. Doesn’t matter how old your kids get, a mother will never stop worrying about them & loving them. When they’re young it’s easier to fix their problems & boo boos. It’s harder when they start dealing with life on their own & you can’t do nothing for them except watch & pray & cry. They hurt… I hurt! And its killing me.

Life affects my writing & sometimes to the point I can’t even write one sentence. It sucks.
I read an article yesterday that said bloggers are wanna be writer’s… Hahahaha…. Get this, that article was from a blogger… That shit cracked me up, I almost commented an ugly comment but I didnt, I was nice & just closed it lol. People… Ugh lol.
I can assure you that this past year has not only beat the absolute shit out of me but has shown & taught me a lot about tons of stuff & has shown me how tough I really am. It has not been easy & still looks like I still have a lot left to fight but I’m still standing.
I thank God he hasn’t allowed the enemy to stroke or heart attack me out through all of this. I deal with depression but that’s nothing compared to what the other could do to you if you live through them.
I feel I have grown up a shit ton this year, didn’t know I had anymore growing up to do. You just never know I guess.
I used to spend my time making everyone else’s day & doing whatever they needed to be done but now that its just me it’s different. It’s took me a year now to just now finally start seeing things a bit clearer. I search deep for peace & relaxation everyday. I notice the simple things literally like the noise from bugs in the yard that I never payed no mind to before. Weird but I like it. Maybe I’m finally getting to know myself again because I love all sorts of kind of things. Things others probably take for granite.
I have to share this lol. I went to the bathroom to pee last night & haha… I couldn’t help but think that I feel sorry for whoever is my forever because I never shut the bathroom door, it smothers me if I do lol. They’ll have to get used to watching me pee. šŸ˜‚ Living alone, why would I shut the door? Or stayed clothed? Hahaha.
Anywho I hope y’all have a great day. I’m gonna try to enjoy my two days off the best I can. May do some more painting in my kitchen, might mow before it gets ridiculously high again lol. I tell ya, I will own a riding mower by next summer… Push mowing sucks ass!!!!!
Love, Lori
I do not own rights to pics

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