August 15, 2017

My Woman Cave

*I wanted to add to this post. Everything I wrote below is very accurate. My cave is where I hide basically. Every time I get hurt or pissed off or whatever, here is where I run to. I don’t have a mans arms to feel safe in to hide from the world so here’s where I go. Yes these walls are so full of my secrets. They know more than my diary does and that should probably be burned. Because of my break down last, I pulled this post back up because here at home in my cave is the only place I can completely release the pain in my heart. Laying in the floor with such hard cries that I felt sorry for my own self. But unless I tell you, no one knows what the walls know. When I’m feeling unimportant and ashamed of myself, etc, I can just let it out. *
My place, my home, is just that…my woman cave. Where I’m learning who I truly am. Where I can be my true self. All of my feelings, happiness, sadness, crying & heartaches are only known by these walls. They hold the true me that no one else knows. No one other than these walls have heard how much pain I cry with. No human knows the pain I carry on a daily basis. And I guess that’s ok because most humans don’t truly care anyways, but in my cave I can release the pains & fears.

I will continue to pretend to love being alone until I actually do love it. I will never chase, beg, or plead for someone to love me & share a cave together. If I’m wanted or loved, they’ll have to come to me & show me, I shouldn’t have to chase it. I’d rather be with someone, but with someone that actually loves me back. Until that beautiful moment I will continue to love myself & enjoy my time alone in my woman cave.
I’m not like normal single women. I don’t sleep around with whatever will have me. I take sex to seriously. There’s only one me & I feel I’m valuable. Important. And should be treated as such. I don’t want my body wore out or diseased up for whoever is my forever. I can take care of myself sexually, these walls see all.
Even though you read so much sexual posts on my blog, doesn’t mean I’m anything-a whore. It’s like a passion & I only want to share it with one. I’m no doctor nor do I claim to be on sex, I just talk about what I’ve learned and experienced.
At the end of every day I come home alone. It’s bitter sweet really. The bitter part is I know that no one is there that’s going to hug me up & love on me. The sweet part is that there is no one there that’s gonna attack & accuse me & bitch. The sweet part kinda overrules the bitter part though. It sucks but I’m handling it. It being my cave means I don’t have to deal with the nonsense. Freedom.

Being alone will make you stronger. At first it felt like I was weaker but then I realized I was getting tougher. You truly learn what your made of that’s for sure. I have endured some serious pain, heartache, burdens, & troubles. A lot of women couldn’t handle it without a doubt in my mind. I’ve had to be strong all my life. Little did I realize I was already prepared to deal with today.
And having my very first own woman cave has changed my life. Making a better, & even stronger me.

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