August 1, 2017

My Heart Changed

Isn’t it weird when you think you’ve done well since passed-reached the grown up stage, then realize you was wrong? Well I done just that yesterday at 41 years old. I was getting ready for my mom n laws viewing yesterday afternoon which was very hard to do. It’s taking a toll on me. But I was playing/arguing along with some stupid fb memes & all of a sudden I just stopped. I thought to myself, really Lori? You’re gonna fight with memes like some child with an immature person on the other end? I laughed to myself and thought damn, I slipped right into that childish drama hook, line and sinker lol. Not anymore, it disgusts me. I do know stress will cause me to focus on one person and terrorize them 😁. I don’t know why but it does. I refuse to play along with adults that act like children anymore.
Anyway, it had been one hell of a day and today is her funeral. It’s been rough on me and her entire family. I call her my mom n law still but me and her son are divorced…I didnt divorce her. And something that struck me funny when I went to bed(but I’m back up), was that my ex and my boys was the only ones that asked if I was doing alright….. Silence says a lot you know. I’m trying not to ponder on it too much but maybe I see where I stand to some. Well, whatever. Like an old friend told me today, my two boys are always gonna be there for me to pick me up and have my back when needed and he’s right.
So yes I do believe I may have matured a little more yesterday. It’s actually kinda nice really. I see the childish posts from others directed at me and I just laugh lol. It’s funny though, I know I’m innocent as hell and its like watching a train wreck in slow motion haha. They don’t even know what they’re talking about lol. But anyway, blah blah I’m done with it. I’ll keep y’all informed of the funny stuff I see and the name calling hehe…actually no I’m not, I don’t care and I’m not going to continue giving them something to feed on. This post is probably going to be the last they can eat from. You know the haters are on your shit more than anybody hahaha.
There is some shit about to go down with me, not sure the outcome though. I tried like hell to get help but no luck so now I’m facing this junk. My son is the absolute only one who is going crazy trying to help me and I appreciate that boy. But the clock is ticking…I don’t want to talk about it in depth until a solution is found.
And I’m starting up another blog. It’s called Porch Tales 101. It will be a little different than this one. I’m going to keep both going but the other one will be for all ages as to where this one is 18+ because of my stories I love writing, which I’m not stopping lol. And there will be no diary type writings in that other one either. I’m trying to stay focused on the blogs but it’s hard to at the moment. Too much going on in my life.
Well I need some sleep, I got to get up early for her funeral. Prayers are needed and appreciated.
Thanks for visiting!

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