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True-Self Help

I’ve read ‘at’ a bunch of self help books and others articles. I’m not throwing off on none of it but none of it ‘the books’ anyway are for me. I self help myself in many ways everyday of my life and I don’t need a book to tell me how. 
This crazy woman below ⬇️ is making it! 

Some days I’m all over the place. Some days I’ve got my shit together. But the most important thing is even when I absolutely and completely couldn’t give a rats ass if I died or not ‘kinda mood’ …I still hold on. Holding on to what? Well I don’t know really. I just know I keep picking myself up off the floor or pulling myself out of bed everyday no matter how damn difficult it is and I make it another day. 
You know what sucks though, on my days I’m stuck in bed?-there’s no one that comes to my rescue but me. I mean no one. Messaging or talking isn’t on the agenda when I have those days, I simply just want to be held. I never get it and I probably never will. But hey that’s ok, I’ll still make it. 
I am my own self lol. I will literally go through the motions on everything until I find a solution for it. Kinda makes me crazy sometimes but I’m doing the best I can on it, on anything. And I will brag on myself because I think I’m doing a pretty good damn job AND I’m un-medicated. 
Do I hurt? Cry? Stomp my feet? Feel lonely? Wanna die? Have panic attacks? YES to all and more but I won’t give in to any of them to the the point it affects my health. I may be mostly single and have kids that are grown but I still have to live for them and my grandchild on the way no matter how lonely and depressed I get. They’re my world! 
Yes I have to remove things and people from my life that add to my troubles. And I’m fixing to remove some people from my life right now-I’m debating at the moment and watching them very closely, so far, they’re losing and to say the least-They’re gonna miss me. I’m no better than others but I’m good as gold and faithful as hell to those that are good to me, once they start failing, I will remove them. 
I’ve been through a lot and I’ve been treated badly by others. And currently I feel like I’m in this circle of lying ass cruel people and I’m about to remove myself from the equation. They can all screw each other over without me there. And that’s how I keep myself going. I have to fight for myself and look out for myself because no one else will at all. 
To me, what I’m doing is true self help. I don’t listen to what others think is best for me, I listen to myself. I teach myself. I learn when I mess up. And all of it is a big deal because I’ve never been alone in my life at all, so this is a major thing in my life. And it has took a toll on me, damn near defeated me, but I refuse to let that happen! I’m strong as hell because of everything I’ve been through and still go through on a daily basis! 
I’m not saying how I deal with things is for everyone because some may be worse off than me or not as strong willed. But it’s working for me. 
All in all I am my own caregiver, teacher, mother, friend, significant other, handyman, etc. I Will Make It! & So can you! 
Love, Lori 

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