April 16, 2017

Feeling?…Idk LOL

Lol, idk really what I’m feeling. I’m all over the place. Work sucked, I made $10 in tips πŸ™„. It’s not that I was doing anything wrong, there was hardly any customers. It was very warm and nice yesterday too, I don’t get it. Today being Easter I’d say there’s no sense in me even having to work today, probably won’t be nobody at all at the golf course. Sure hope I don’t have to go in. I’m tired. 
And what I’m feeling? Well, it’s weird. Ok so both jobs suck at bringing in good money, rents late (I have it,just can’t mail it til Monday), my taxes were rejected-now it’s gonna be late and they won’t accept it without a damn pin # but won’t tell me what it is…wtf ? Freezer door broke off-its barely on there, truck still ain’t fixed, and so on and I’m just like fuck it…fuck it all and then laugh! Lol. I can’t fix none of it by crying, stomping my feet or throwing things. I’m still in that state of mind where I just don’t give a fuck. There’s nothing more I can do so why let any of it get to me ya know? I have a shut the fuck up switch in my head now every time something goes wrong or someone tries to piss me off or hurt me. And yes fuck is my favorite word and my favorite thing to do 😁😜😘. I want ‘fuck’ tattooed just above my p……….. πŸ˜‰. 
Well that thing I told y’all about but didn’t tell you about that I said I’d tell y’all about someday….well I still ain’t telling ya yet hahahaha….but…last night was the start of it and I think it may work out for me I hope.  I’m liking it anyway. Confused? Heehee. If all goes well I hope it’s the only job I’ll be doing soon. Gotta do what I gotta do regardless. I can’t pay my bills. Done lost my satellite tv and I’m bored out my mind. 
I gots to tell you people it’s been real good this weekend, let’s just say it hurts to sit down or even touch it, kinda hurts to cough cause it contracts the south muscles LOL. Dammit it was so fucking damn hot!!! All I got to say is two words….duct tape! πŸ˜‰πŸ’‹ I love it and love having somebody that clicks with me on it too, no awkwardness or embarrassment. Pure satisfaction and passion. 
I’m getting sleepy as hell now. I had a nap earlier and here I am at 2am lol. I woke up from my nap scared to damn death because I fell asleep with American Horror Story playing. I sat straight up panting and sweating and my heart was pounding haha. And it had already gotten dark on me so there was no lights on in my house…yikes!!!
Let me lay this out here. I have a full time job, a part time job, a blog, two YouTube channels, and now an online job. Three of the jobs are to knock out the regular jobs. I’m not trying to brag I’m just explaining how busy I stay lol. I’m working my butt off to get to where I want to be but it’s hard and I’m wearing down quick. I’m doing it by myself, I don’t have a partner to help me. But honestly I wouldn’t appreciate it if I didn’t do it by myself, it’s just hard though.  
Well I’m dozing so I’ll say goodnight and good morning! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!! I Love y’all and I love my 4 special people in my life❀️. 
Love, Lori πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

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