April 14, 2017

Goodnight People 😴

It’s been one hell of a long day at work! So glad it’s over. I’ve got one day off and I’m going to enjoy it. At least I hope I can lol. I hope y’all had a better day than I did. 
All this stuff I’m working on for myself, I hope it’s going to work out so I don’t have to keep slave working. One day I’ll tell y’all what it is, if it works or don’t work out for me. I’m so tired of working all the time. Days off are usually spent catching everything else up so it feels like I don’t ever rest. 
And yes I’m still feeling better for the most part. I had a moment today where I thought I was gonna lose it but I’m fine, I guess I was just so tired at work. 
I want to ask y’all something. Have you ever noticed that the one you want to notice you or to get attention from never does? They pay you no mind at all. But everyone else gives you attention and you don’t even notice? Why is that? Crazy shit. I was just pondering on that today. You chase this person and that person is chasing another person and someone else is chasing you…..Neverending cycle I suppose. Maybe when two people truly fall in love with each other would be the only way to break that cycle. I think it sucks because a lot of people get hurt, I know it’s life but still…it sucks. 
I was talking to my girlfriend and I may have already said this idk lol. Coming from a single standpoint…Can you imagine wanting to be with someone all the time? Wanting to come home to them? Being able to trust them no matter what? Being in love with them and KNOW that person loves you without a doubt? Knowing they’ll take care of you? And wants you as bad as you do them all the time? Makes other girls jealous of you instead of making you jealous of other girls? Makes you their priority? Loves any and everything about you? Well…,. I imagine it but I don’t see it happening for me. It’s like a fairytale anymore, I don’t think too many people are real anymore. Everybody’s too busy being a hoe. 
The post I wrote about ‘Insignificant’ if you remember. Well I haven’t felt that way for a few days but I did today and still kinda do right now. I’m shaking it off pretty good, I refuse to go back to how I did feel, fuck that. Anything or anyone that makes me feel that way is becoming insignificant to me now. If I have to stay alone and single to be happy then I will. Honestly why get in a relationship just because your bored? It always ends badly anyway. Not speaking of my life, just speaking in general because it’s the truth. I feel bad for others. Although here lately I’m noticing I’m focused on myself rather than everybody else and their wants. You got to or you’ll lose yourself. 
I know I write a lot of dramatic and sad shit all the time. But honestly it’s the only place I can be myself and say what I need or want to say. And if I hold all this shit in I’ll explode. It helps me to get it out and it helps others regardless of the ones that think it’s boring and too sad. Guess what..me and all of them don’t give a shit so blah lol. 
Tomorrow is my sleep in day and dammit if anybody wakes me up before 9ish I will find you and I will kick your ass! Just saying lol. I’m a female and I may be little but I warn ya I don’t play nice😈. 
I’m sitting here in my bed sleepy as hell and can’t go to sleep. Takes me forever to wind down after working 12 hours but I’m about there lol. You know what’s cool about me living by myself??? When I get home I throw my bags down, kick off my shoes and socks, take my hair down, lose the pants/shorts and bra. Nothing but panties and a t-shirt…aahhhhh now that’s relaxing right there! I even go outside like that haha I don’t give a fuck😂. It’s my house and my yard, if they don’t wanna see then they can turn the hell around heehee. I swear if anybody was to say something to me I would take my toys and music and sit on the front porch…go ahead, piss me off I dare em lol. I don’t flirt with my male neighbors so I’m not bothering nobody. There is however a female….we’ll just leave that alone 😜. 
Whenever I get up in the morning I’m gonna hit the tub of course and then the tanning bed and go find me some cheap material so I can make me some curtains. I’m sick of looking at ugly ass sheets on my windows. So tacky yuck! 
Ok well I’m getting off here. I’m rambling. Have a good night and I’ll say good morning to you too! 
Love, Lori 😈💋💜🌹

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