April 7, 2017

Good Morning

Well I hope today is better than yesterday. I hope y’all have a great day regardless. I’m ready for it to warm up and stay there already. I woke up freezing to death lol. 
I have to say venting yesterday helped a bit. I know it’s kinda off and not what a strong woman does but a person can only take so much. Especially when its coming from all angles at you. And having no one to talk too makes it worse. Maybe I’m weakening. Not 
I’m seriously considering just up and quitting the full time job then hit all these job placement companies til I get something else. Not responsible I know but you don’t understand how miserable I am there. 
And all that stuff I ranted and whined about yesterday may be nonsense and just me bitching to most but when I hurt it hurts deep and no ones there for me. So I have to cope the best way I can. Haters can sit back and gossip all they want. They’re weaker than I am for doing me like they are  when I’ve done nothing to no one. 
All I can say is I’m still feeling the ‘done’ with everything and everybody feeling this morning. I ain’t begging nobody to be a part of my life. If you want to be in my life I suggest that you stop treating me like shit and stepping up your game and proving it because I’m on the verge to just stop talking and having anything to do with almost everyone. Myself, my life, my sanity is important even if that’s all I have left. If you can’t be real with me and be a genuine decent person to me or only fuck with me or only be with me, go away. Because if you can’t then you were never really into me or liked me or respected me enough as a friend for real in the first place. Just leave me alone. I don’t need you. Girls, you either true and honest with me or I’m done with you. Guys, your true and honest and fucking only with me or your not going to be. I ain’t no ones fool anymore. 
It’s really hard talking myself into going into that job, it really is. But I do have to go today, I have to do something so I have to show up. May have to stay until next payday. Idk yet. Don’t really want to. 
But for my own damn self I have to remove and get rid of everything that’s getting to me and bringing me down like it is. It’s nonsense I’ve put up with it all this long. It’s definitely not me, I’m not known for allowing anything or anyone to get to me. I’ll drop it all in a heartbeat. Funny why I’ve waited so long. If you don’t hear from me or disappear from social media here in the near future, you were one of my problems. I’m fixing to clean out facebook, instagram, and anything else I have. Along with material things and jobs as well. It feels like my life is cluttered with junk and it’s time to clean it up. 
I was actually going to go to the gym this morning but I ended up only sleeping 3 hours so I’m not going. I’ll barely make it through the day as it is. 😴
Ya know this morning would be a great time to be one of those lucky people that hit the lottery for like $10,000+. Hell I ain’t even asking for millions. I’d just go back home and get back in bed and forget that job exists…..nice dreaming it huh? Lol 
Look I know I’ve been depressing a lot here lately. I’m trying I swear I am. I have to sort through my life and fix all this craziness. This blog in my eyes has not been as exciting as it was and it’s because of how I feel. Emotions take a toll when you like writing. You write according to your life. 
Have a great day y’all! 😊
Love, Lori 

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