March 22, 2017

My only day off…πŸ˜”

Hey y’all! Having a good day I hope? I’m in bed and refuse to get out of it! Lol. I’m so tired, being single is exhausting especially when you got two jobs. I worked 2 days then off 2, then worked 4 days, off today, then I work 4 more, then off 1 and so on…. I passed out last night, didn’t even wake up to pee or nothing. I’m fixing to take a nap then a long hot bath I hope lol. 
I’m pretty proud of myself right now, I’m actually able to get some things my truck has to have like oil change, filters, exhaust pipe hangers, and majorly needed new tie rod ends, and then a front end alignment. I have to have a ride so it has to be a priority period. 
With my son and his wife being here with me has helped some. I didn’t cry myself to sleep for the last 3 nights so far. I mean I’m still lonely and shit but they keep me somewhat occupied. I like the new friends I’ve made here lately but it still don’t solve my issues or take away any pain. 
Ever just stop and think about yourself or look at yourself in the mirror like who would want you? Well I do. I can’t help it. I guess I’ll eventually get past it or over it but it may take someone being real with me and actually caring about me to prove it to me. That loneliness…..Damn it sucks! Idc who you are it sucks! It will try and eat you alive. I’d love to be cuddling up right now to take my nap but I can’t. Sucks. 
It really sucks when you know the truth about something or someone and you know it’s changed and probably going to end or change or has already and your just the last one to know or realize it. πŸ˜ͺ
Yea I’m kinda sad today, I don’t know why really, I just am. Ok I’m lying I do know why I just won’t talk about it to nobody. I just deal with it on my own. Even with all the stuff I share on here about me, there are still a bunch of things I don’t share. Stuff that eats at me or hurts me or belittles me or being made to feel useless or unattractive….those kinds of things I don’t like talking about. It hurts too much. 
Well I’m off toy nap lol😴😴😴
Love ya’s 

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