January 2, 2017

Good Really Early Morning

I’m awake! I fell asleep pretty early but my phone was blowing up lol, woke me up then I had to pee so now I’m up. It’s alright I don’t have to work tomorrow thank god. But I do have to meet with my second job boss today sometime. 
I’m still here for those that need someone to talk to about their problems. I know first hand it sucks so I’m here to listen as a friend. Don’t be afraid to hit me up. 
I’m still pumped about being successful this year! I’m aiming to make it more than one thing I’m successful at. Me & my son Cory did a short video for our YouTube channel yesterday just basically introducing ourselves. I’ll share it to my facebook wall. I’m still working on the channel and designing it. I also have to learn more about editing videos. I may take a class somewhere on that if it’s affordable and worth it. If not I’ll teach myself lol. 
I’m soooo excited about my best friends wedding. I’m so happy for her! And I love her to death! She asked me last night to be her Matron of Honor!!! I’m honored to do it and so excited!!! Love love love it!! I’m happy for you girl & I love you so much!!  So happy for you and your family! 
I’m doing things differently and changing for my own good. I’m committed to being myself period. So far everything I write about and do is unraveling who I am and I’m loving this woman now. I feel so free just being me. I love myself more everyday. What people think of me doesn’t matter anymore. They can look and judge but it only shows their weakness not mine. 
I also have to say that being able to be who I am sexually and do what my heart desires has really helped me to be more myself as well. I can’t express how much it means to me. I’ve always wanted to express myself sexually the way I have dreamed and thought of. And one person has made that possible. Some of you may not think that makes you..you. But when it’s a big part of your life it does. And being able to find someone to go to those sexual places with you is extremely important because most people ‘just’ have sex and don’t understand the need for the beyond ‘just’ sex need. I won’t even waste my time anymore for ‘just’ sex. It doesn’t fulfill what I need. Y’all know that it’s ‘my guy’ who has made this possible, we’ve made it possible for each other. I’m pretty sure he knows how much I appreciate him. He’s like my guy bff. No matter what the future holds, I’ll always consider him my bff and I’ll never forget anything. I’ve never met up with anyone else who just simply understood exactly what I need sexually and I understand his need as well. So I’m loving it. It makes me feel more like ME. And I’m learning everyday who ME is not just sexually which is passionately amazing but it’s in every area. Can’t express it enough here but I’m actually enjoying life. 
I know not everybody has that opportunity to have somebody like that in their life. It’s rare and I’m thankful. And not everybody has a girlfriend that would kill for you either. If she hurts I hurt. If she cries I cry. If she’s mad I’ll get mad with her and get prepared to kick some ass! She’s my buddy and he’s my buddy, and I’m thankful!
You know I went from having no one like that in my life for a long time. I had no one to tell my secrets to. No one called me up or messaged me for years. I sat alone and felt alone. And know I have two people in my life that make me feel like somebody gives a damn  about me and it’s nice. I hope that I’ve impacted them as much as they have me. Love my bff’s. 
I’m also making new friends as well along the way. One stands out on my friends list that is just being my friend and has spoke lots of encouraging words to me when I was having meltdowns. He knows who he is. He’s not a creep and not after ‘you know’. Just being there for me and I appreciate you! 
Ok I’m gonna get off here and try to sleep some more or clean…whatever haha. Hope everybody has a great day! 
Love, Lori 

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