December 11, 2016

Her Smile

Look into her eyes. Can you see her pain? Probably not. You’ll never see it unless she opens up to you. And if she opens up to you, you mean something to her.
If your not fully into her, then leave her be. She doesn’t need more pain caused by heartless people.
She views the world differently than you. Not that it’s bad, but because she has no choice. Years of pain, betrayal, and fake ass people.She doesn’t want it anymore.
Even though she carries her head high, shoulders back, and smiles like nothings wrong, she’s still weak.
It all eats at her everyday. She notice’s no one really cares. No one asks.
Yeah everyone has troubles. Until you meet her and know her you cannot comprehend her troubles. They may have sympathy for her but that’s about it.
She has been the second choice to everyone she has met(men). They only want what they can try to get from her(sex). Next cute thing that comes along and she’s out, ignored. Hurt.
But you wouldn’t know it behind that smile. Struggles only a few know of, yet she went through them alone. So many tears have left those eyes that people call beautiful.
Soaked pillow almost every night. She has such hurt, deep hurt, hurts down to her soul.
No one to turn to really. No one to talk to about stuff, her pain, her good or bad days. No one wants to listen anyways. But yet she smiles.
She’ll build you up. She listens to your problems and tries to soothe. But who’s there to listen to hers?
When she dreams, she dreams big. When she loves, she loves hard. She forgives those who don’t deserve it.
She’s smart. She knows when your doing her wrong but won’t say nothing. Just cry about it later. But yet she smiles.
How difficult is it for someone to just hug her. To give back a little bit of what she gives. To say hi.
Hurts when people tell her one thing and actually forget about her and the thing.
We all feel pain of some sort. How many are still standing? She is. How many are heavily medicated? She’s not.How many can still put their self together and go on about their day? Her….She can.
She wants the love of her life. But doesn’t want anymore heartache.
Loneliness is a really bad feeling. Until you’ve truly felt it, you have no right to judge her.
All her pain is cause by unfaithfulness. Why is it so hard to be faithful to her. She’s done nothing wrong. Tossed aside like she is a leftover that’s no good.
She is full of hurt and pain brought on by men. You’d think she would hate them all. Every man she has encountered has cheated or lied or stabbed her in the back. Yet she smiles.
Regardless, she will survive. They will regret it one day letting her go for a piece of strange.
But one day, she will be taken by a man that will treat her right to start with and doesn’t need other women to make him feel complete. Then it will be too late for them.
22 Year marriage, gone. Boyfriends, gone. Friends, gone.
But yet she’s not gone. She still stands through it all.
I have so much to say and can’t type fast enough. Not just personal, books and stories too. I guess being single gives me the room to write though. Yes I say and post stuff about ‘yay I’m single’…but at the end of the day….it sucks. Until someone can be who I need them to be, I’ll just do me. I plan to keep writing blogs and publishing books. I still plan to travel, I wish I could just do it now. I want to pack up and leave soooo bad I can’t hardly stand it. I will miss a handful of people really bad. It won’t be like I’m gone forever but probably weeks at a time. I seriously want to give up the regular job and house and bills and just travel and write for awhile. I’ll get there one day soon. I just wish I could get past this sadness stage I’m going through though, it slows me down.
Love you guys, thanks for reading and I hope y’all had a good day.
She keeps smiling,

%d bloggers like this: