Bondage & Other desires
Why do we have them? Why are there so many? Why are so few fulling them? Are we afraid? Is it wrong? Are we crazy? Well I myself dont have all the answers. But I am one of the ones that has sexual desires out of the norm. Way beyond the typical boring missionary style sex. To me, if thats all I can get, I’d rather just please myself.
Because of not wanting to open up or share my feelings and desires with the people in previous relationships, I’ve only barely dabbled with my desires. I mostly just imagined them while pleasing myself which made my orgasms go through the roof! I currently have a very special guy friend that has similar desires as me, and we are starting to play those out together. Not to mention the attraction we have for one another, hard to play when we can’t keep our hands off each other lol. The passion is like none I’ve ever experienced before, so intense. We’ve purchased items that we will be using while playing out those desires and fantasies. Before I tell you about him and our adventures we have done so far, I want to continue to talk about these desires and such.
As far back as I can remember, my mind and heart have always been drawn to the abnormal as some would say. But for me it feels normal. I would say around the age of 13 years old is about the time I became interested in everything sexual. I would sneak and watch the forbidden porn tapes on vhs haha and any of those sex magazines I could get my hands on. Even after everything I watched and learned of, it was just not enough for me, I needed it to be more. Even tho I had not had sex yet, I felt like a caged lion! Anyone elses sexual interests of wanting extreme sex start that young or did you realize at a different time or age?
This may not be your typical boring blog. This is always on my mind and I know I’m not the only one out there. I write and see this blog as informative to you and to me to help and learn from each other. I wanted to share my interests with you and hope for some great responses back as to what your into and your adventures. I’m not going to waste my time or yours making this blog all informative with definitions and copying researched material. There’s plenty of those out there on the web. Instead I’d like for it to be more personal and more like a short hot story, taking a break from the normal blogging. Which is who I am.. not normal, at least thats how I feel sometimes. But not so much anymore thanks to my guy and having conversations with a few friends, and lots of research. I realize I’m more normal than ever because its not just me that wants so much more during sex. I have learned that there’s alot of people, male and female that want more, talk about it but have never acted on it and had not talked to their partners about it. Thats why I asked the question at the beginning, ‘Are we afraid?’ Afraid of what? I’m in the same boat, have been for many years. I never could really explain what I wanted to previous partners for fear they would be against it. Even though my guy is all for anything and right there with me, I still have trouble telling him what I want not that I’m scared to say anything. I feel comfortable with him(only one ever), I just can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that I want. My mind races with thoughts of sexual acts, but I dont know what to do with them. I do still have some fears of speaking or acting because I think to myself is that too much? Will that be painful to the point its no longer enjoyable or will it make it more pleasurable? Will my guy be against anything? I don’t know.
I picture myself cuffed, arms and legs, to a wall or obstacle that has me upright, standing and blindfolded. And my guy completely having the freedom to do whatever he wants to me rather its gentle or not. I have not acted on what I’m about to tell you and this is one of the things that I have trouble talking about it. I fantasize about toy’s or objects that are not the typical adult sex toys. For them to be played with and maybe some inserted inside of me, nothing dangerous or harmful though. Its one of things that turns me on. To me my p**** is not just ‘a’ pussy. Its like I think of it as a highly erotic special part of me that is wild and wants to be unleashed. Being single has allowed me to be able to love myself. It took a little while but I can now look at myself in the mirror and actually love how I look. The structure of my my body, curves of my hips, breasts, legs, and most importantly, my p****. I felt embarrassed of it for past reasons, but now I see it as delicious and beautiful. By being able to see and feel that way about myself, my sexuality has gone through the roof! I carry myself differently now. I rarely feel ugly, even on my period. Its an amazing feeling!! That being said and describing how I feel about myself it helps me to open up more and act on those sexual desires, being in touch and in love with myself first. If anyone feels like I used to please stop and start working on loving yourself, everything about you. Even if you have to stand in front of a mirror naked, and it feels like your lying to yourself, keep telling yourself you love you until you believe it! You will if you want to love yourself and better your life. You will snap out of who or whatever has caused you to feel so bad about yourself and you will see ‘You’!!! Loving yourself not only opens you up sexually, it changes your life. You look at things differently. You are way more confident about yourself. I literally feel so confident that I Know not think but Know that I can do anything. Gotta love yourself!
So how many of you like me are very turned on by bondage and out the norm sexual activities? I bet there’s a lot of you. I can’t wait til I get to do more acts. I’m learning as I go. I know I’ve always wanted it, but sadly I’m just now getting to do it. But at least I’m getting to, which is absolutely awesome! I, like you, see images and movies about bondage and sexual acts. And yes they are a turn on, but doing them will be even better. The devices are not scary to me, they’re interesting. After researching I’ve learned there’s so many ways to be tied up its crazy. One that stands out to me is an image of a woman with her hands tied together above her head and her standing on her toes. She was tied to a cherry picker, I thought to myself, what? But hey, it looked hot and fun and that’s all that matters. The only that looks like it would bother me are those ball gags. Some look too big for the mouth. I don’t know yet, like I said I’m still learning and I will definitely keep you all up to date. There will be part 2, 3, or more haha, added as new adventures are made.
My personal feelings about being afraid was not being able to trust someone fully. A big part of why I could not share my interests or likes. Doing any kind of sexual acts where bondage is involved would not be fulfilling if I’m freaking out the entire time. So I kept it to myself. For me, I need to trust completely. There needs to be maturity on a high level for it to be fulfilling. I believe that is a big reason why we don’t share how we feel or what we want because of the partner being childish about it. I, however do trust my guy and I’m fixing to tell you about him and how he makes me feel and some of the things we’ve done in the bedroom. Before I share the hot juicy stories with my guy, I want to talk about dominance for a minute. Because it plays a big role in bondage. I have not been the dominant one yet, I want to do it but I’m nervous. I feel that my guy trusts me enough as I do him. I think he wants it and will enjoy it like I do. But at this point I’m not sure what to do as I get very nervous just thinking about it. I’ve read so much about the woman being dominant but just can’t get the nerve up, I will soon though. My guy does very well at dominance to me, I love it! I love the feeling of not being in control and being told what to do, it feels so erotic. It seems a little scary like being on stage and your in the spot light as the main character don’t it? Well it does for me. But I will overcome this fear somehow someway. There is a lot more to dominance and submission I have learned through researching. Stuff that I didn’t even remotely give a thought about. Not making fun just not aware of all of it. I personally will not be into everything as I’m sure you all are the same way. We are not all going to like or do the same things and that’s ok. Everybody’s desires are different, its just finding a partner to play with.
Ok, I’m now going to tell you about my guy and share a little about him. As you’ve noticed already I’ve mentioned him here and there, and will be known as ‘My Guy’ throughout these blogs. Where do I begin? Oh my God! He is so awesome in so many ways! Lets just say I’m very happy and thankful I met him. I honestly don’t know where to start, he has brought joy to my life where it was so depressing. The first time I met him I was very nervous because obviously I didn’t know him. The first time he put his arms around me and kissed me, I no longer felt scared. The things he says to me and the way he looks at me make me like jello. I feel like the hottest woman ever just from how he talks to me and kisses in all the right places.
When he goes down on me I’m in heaven. I can’t hardly breathe. He makes me feel like I’ve never felt before. I’ve been with women and they couldn’t come close to how good he makes me feel. His mouth on me is my favorite, licking and sucking, making me so wet and he don’t rush one bit. It’s so awesome, I don’t do drugs but I feel so high with him. He’s a very good kisser on both sets of lips! I forget all my problems and worries when I’m with him. It’s like time stops while we play. When he puts his hands on me anywhere, its like electricity, I get so turned on by him. He takes his time and enjoys me while I enjoy him. And his dick fills me up and then some. As soon as he just barely enters inside of me I just melt with pleasure. My guy is so good at making me feel amazing. Being up against him on top riding him is my favorite position. I don’t ever want to stop. I love making him feel good and seeing his facial expressions and hearing him moan makes me want to ride him harder. I can’t say it enough how good he makes me feel. Every time we fuck, I can’t hardly walk the next day and have trouble sitting down. I don’t recall ever trembling all over like I do during and after we have sex, its an amazing feeling. Whoa, damn, got to stop somewhere for now!
My guy handcuffed my hands behind my back and blindfolded me. He gently kissed my neck and stroked my body. My heart was pounding! He gently touched my ass with the paddle and then spanked me. Every lick was a little harder than the other and I was getting more and more wet. He guided me to my knees and he sat in front of me, his dick in my mouth, sucking on him while still blindfolded and cuffed. It was so fucking hot, I could have cummed by just barely being touched at this point. He bends me over the bed and starts fucking me, pounding me. Then puts me on my back and keeps pounding me. At this point I don’t even know what day it is, I’m completely mesmerized by the pleasure he’s giving me.
A different time, he was using a toy on me while his mouth was on me, and it felt so good, I couldn’t stay laying down. He was not rough with the toy and that makes all the difference, you women know what I’m talking about. He used that toy so good that I can’t even do it by myself and it feel as good as he made me feel.
Depending on how well this blog does, the next ones will be way more detailed and longer. I’m just not sure how the public will react.
I wanted to share my own real experiences because I want others to become more in touch with their sexualities as well. Talk with your partners. You never know, they may be just simply afraid to talk to you as well. I really have no room to tell you that because I myself was afraid for so long. I hope you enjoyed this blog. There will be more to follow this one as new acts are made. Keep in touch if interested for more. And please feel free to share your own stories, I do not judge anyone.
You can follow me here on WordPress and on my Facebook if you’d like. I’ve added a blog page to my regular Facebook page. Can’t wait to share the next new experience with you all.
Thanks for reading, Lori